I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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