good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Randomize
