Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
