I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I can't put those talents on a resume
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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