I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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