It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
