Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Randomize
