She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I just want to make out with him forever
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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