Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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