I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
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