Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
It's Friday. Sex?
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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