Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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