lets start a swedish sibling band together
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Randomize
