i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Randomize
