It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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