i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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