I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
We just shotgunned beers for America
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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