I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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