I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Randomize
