Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
