redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize