Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
