Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
