I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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