My friends, they love my intelligence
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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