somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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