Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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