You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
I just found a bag of teeth...
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Randomize
