Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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