You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Randomize
