You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
