These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
im holly from the hills drunk
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
