i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize
