I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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