just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
