There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
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