can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
