went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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