Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Randomize
