Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
