not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
