I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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