we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Randomize
