I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
He has the fingertips of a God
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