the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
i think im in europe. pls send help
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