piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
