so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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