Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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