i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
and i looked up. we had an audience...
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Randomize
