How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
He uses pillows to masturbate.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
How's work?
Spinning.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
