We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Randomize
