you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
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